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January 25, 2012 by data ·
It was as if time stopped for about the five or so minutes it took me to answer Paul. My head was yelling ‘Yes, Yes, Yes’ but deep within my heart, I felt nothing but sadness.
Paul went down on one knee and held my hand ever so lightly as he slipped a beautiful engagement ring on my finger. I could see the Diamond glittering in the morning sun.
The Park was alive with children playing and dogs running around as parents sat enjoying picnics all over the lush green fields. Red roses, White Lilies and Purple Jacaranda Trees adorned the park. I could hear the songs of birds welcoming spring early this clear April, day and it was a wonderful time to have someone as charming as Paul propose to me.
But my answer had to be ‘No’
I shook my head slowly and pulled Paul up from his knees. I tried to speak but the words wouldn’t come. I turned to avoid the sadness that I could see deep within his soul. Tears filled my eyes at the thought of the hurt and the pain I was causing him but my answer had to be ‘No’
‘You know I love you baby’ Paul whispered slowly as he fought hard to control his emotions.
I nodded without turning back to face him. I couldn’t bear to look at him.
‘Why Lord, why?’ my heart cried out to God but I knew the answer deep within me.
From the first day I set my eyes on Paul, I had known this day would come. I just didn’t know it would hurt this much.
It was at this same park, about this time of the year. My bicycle had lost control and I had literally run into him! I was more than embarrassed! I was full of apologies as he pulled me up from the hedges.
‘You must have lunch with me today to prove how sorry you are’ was all he said.
That dinner turned to this a year later!
I could feel Paul move close to me as he put his arms on my shoulders. ‘Don’t you think I deserve an answer?’ he whispered
I gazed at the bright blue sky seeking strength and wisdom before I spoke.
‘I’m sorry Paul, it just can’t work’
‘It just can’t work? I don’t understand’
‘I’ve given this a lot of thought. I am not just a Christian Paul, I live for God. I treasure my relationship with Jesus more than anything else in life. He is my everything and I cannot live without Him in my life’
Paul shook his head in disbelief. ‘But I am not asking you to give up your relationship with God’ He protested ‘I am also very religious, you know I attend Mass as often as possible. I am not a pagan for crying out loud!’
January 10, 2012 by data ·
Did you agree before you got married?
Well, what kind of a question is that? Of course, you agreed. I mean, you’re married aren’t you? Would you be married if you hadn’t agreed?
Hold your horses! You see, over the years I have discovered that most couples that end up in failing or failed marriages didn’t really agree before they got married.
What do I mean?
In all probability, you wouldn’t agree to take a job without knowing the conditions of service would you? You’d like to know the salary to start with. Any allowances? You would ask. Any perks? You know the drill.
In most organizations, you have to put your signature to a document that says you agree to the terms and conditions of service. As it were, what you have is a contract of employment. The employer has its own obligations and you, the employee have your own obligations.
Except for desperate people, most folks tend to shop around for the job that offers them the best. Sometimes, you may even take a job, knowing you’re still shopping. It’s not your Eldorado. The minute something better comes along, you’re off to greener pastures, so to speak.
This is even more so in today’s cut-throat business world. Hardly do you find people spending all their lives in one job anymore. People tend to be mobile. You can’t blame anyone for wanting the best.
What’s my point?
Do you realize that most people spend more time discussing and agreeing to their terms and conditions of service than they do discussing their terms and conditions of marriage?!
Now I’ve lost you! Terms and conditions of marriage?
Well, marriage is a covenant my friend. It’s an Agreement between two people. It’s a contract. Only a fool would enter into a contract without discussing and having a full understanding of the terms of the contract.
If you go to a Lawyer complaining that there has been a breach of contract, the first thing he will likely ask you for is a copy of the contract. That is the basis or the foundation of your rights.
When it comes to marriage, what happens is that when people are in ‘love’, they are so blinded by infatuation that they stupidly believe that they will live happily ever after!
To start with honey, love won’t pay the rent! There are about 90 questions that have to be asked and truthfully answered during courtship before a couple should even consider getting engaged.
‘What if we are Christians and we both really love the Lord? Won’t the Lord just do it for us?’
Do what? Jesus said it’s not smart for anyone to start constructing a building without counting the cost first! That means planning. In marriage, that means coming to an agreement about your future with your partner.
When people don’t agree on a lot of stuff before getting married, it’s not strange that a few years down the road they are going to be bickering.
Do you know that some folks get married without having an agreement as to how many kids they will have? I mean what if the husband is a football coach and he’s planning to have eleven boys so he can have his own team?
What if she loves dogs and really isn’t into children? (You think that’s crazy? I’ve seen crazier stuff!)
Your marriage is obviously more important than your job isn’t it? (If your job is more important than your marriage, I will suggest that you consider getting married to your job. That way you won’t be responsible for breaking someone’s heart someday!) Well, if you won’t take a job without coming to an agreement with your Employers, how can you get married without coming to an agreement with your spouse?
Oh no! I’m not asking you to get a lawyer to draw up a marriage contract to be signed sealed and delivered! I’m not talking about a Pre-Nuptial Agreement either ( If you live in the United States, you’re excluded!}
It is wise to sit down with your partner and come to an agreement as to your expectations in marriage. The benefits of doing this are eternal, I guarantee you. The benefits of staring into each others eyes and muttering sweet nothings into each others ears will be for about two years. The choice is yours.
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DID YOU AGREE?
December 21, 2011 by data ·
It’s Christmas again! Time does fly doesn’t it? It’s a wonderful year for me and I sure hope you’ve had a great year too.
So, how do you plan to spend your Christmas? Here are a few ideas for guys dating or courting.
1. Go to church (if you are a Christian) after all, what we are celebrating is the birth of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. After the service, go home to your family, have a nice lunch, call your heartthrob on the phone and sing a few carols to her (make sure your Carols are the short ones or you’ll be starting the new year in debt!)
2. If you’re not really the family type, rebel! Go to church earlier than everyone else in your family or go to a different church altogether! You have great plans for the day and if either of your parents or Uncles etc catches a glimpse of you, you’ll be neck deep in Christmas chores, from slaughtering the goat to visiting your grandparents. Not cool!
Be sure to leave the service before they say the grace. In some churches, Christmas is really the Reverend father’s or Pastor’s day and some are wont to drone on for hours during sermons. We can’t have that now, can we? We have plans for the day!
Pick your love up or catch up with her. Head for the Beach! Get your feet wet, roll on the sand and, don’t you dare!
3. Okay, so you don’t go to Church, you are not religious. What can I say, it’s your life! But you want to celebrate Christmas even if you don’t recognize the person of the celebrant.
Wake up early. I’m talking to the men now. Be sure to be the one to wake your sweetheart up with a phone call. Have a romantic song or a Christmas Carol sung in a romantic way on hand so she can listen to it as you tell her a few sweet nothings!
4. Religious or not, here’s a great one. Have a Courier company deliver a giant Christmas Card with a dozen Roses and an unforgettable Christmas present to her at about 5:00am in the morning!
I’m serious. She’ll never forget you! Neither will her parents. The Courier man sure won’t forget their dog if they have one!
5. If you’re almost engaged and or you’re having trouble convincing his or her parents that you’re the real deal, you may want to use this time to your advantage.
Send them a wonderful Christmas present. Anything from a Car to a Cow! Depends on how stupid you are and how silly they are! You never know, that just may be where you’ve been missing it.
6. Ah, my favorite. How about hooking up with your darling after church and heading for an Orphanage or Old People’s home with some gifts?
Christmas is all about giving and when you give to people who can’t possibly repay you, well quite simply, God owes you!
7. Also you may want to spend some time with someone who is going to be really lonely this Christmas. Maybe they have no family or maybe they’re far away from home. Maybe they are in a hospital somewhere battling an incurable disease. Again, if you do that, quite simply, God owes you!
And so guys, whatever you do, have a great Christmas but remember, there is life after Christmas!
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7 WAYS TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS!
December 13, 2011 by data ·
Lucky tossed to and fro on the bed trying to catch some sleep. He had the 2 hp Air conditioner on full blast but it didn’t help, no, not this time. His mind was deeply troubled. Maria had just stormed out of the room in a fit, after another heated argument, almost yanking the door from its hinges, by the force of the jam!
A few years back, earlier in the marriage, Lucky would have rushed after her to placate and bring her back to bed. Now he had simply turned off the lights and crashed on the bed pulling the cover over his head. He really didn’t care that much anymore!
He closed his eyes and tried to relax. Perhaps he could drift into sleep if he emptied his mind of all thoughts.
A few minutes later however, ice-cold water hit him on the bed, drenching him in a moment!
Lucky jumped off the bed, confused as to what was happening.
Standing by the bed with an empty bowl was Maria. She had stole into the room and emptied a bowl of ice cold water over him!
Lucky removed his pajamas top and flung it on the floor. He didn’t know what to think.
“What do you think you are doing?”
Maria’s eyes glared at him but she said nothing.
“Have you gone mad?” Lucky asked still shocked at what had just transpired.
Better to get a Towel to wipe myself dry, Lucky thought. He was cold.
As he stepped towards the Bathroom however, Maria cut him off!
“You are not going anywhere!”
Lucky took two steps back, too stunned to speak.
“You will kill me today,” Maria declared, eyes blazing as she grabbed a hold of Lucky’s pajamas trousers!
Lucky grabbed a hold of her hands and pushed them off but she grabbed his trouser again!
Why on Earth did I get married to this woman? Lucky asked himself. What he really felt like doing was giving the woman a thorough beating!
NB: To be continued next week!
December 5, 2011 by data ·
One of my younger friends came to see me the other day. Sitting with a glass of freshly squeezed Orange juice, she looked lovely in her navy blue stripped suit. I could tell that she was in very high spirits as we chatted for a while. I didn’t have to wonder for long about her joyful disposition. A call came in on her handset and I saw her face literally light up as she took the call.
‘Hello, Sweet-heart’
‘No I’m with a friend’
‘Yes, darling’
‘I love you too’
She wore a sweet smile as she flipped the phone off knowing that I was curious about the fellow she had just spoken with.
‘That was Emeka, my boyfriend, she announced proudly
‘Oh, good’ I responded, ‘You guys seem to be very tight’
Femi laughed a little ‘I really like this guy. He loves me so much!”
I was immediately inquisitive. ‘How can you tell?’
‘He can’t keep away from me. He calls me at least thrice a day. He says I’m always on his mind!”
‘How often do you see him?” I asked
‘Everyday, he comes over and he takes me out. He spoils me, I tell you. There is nothing I want that he doesn’t give me. He works in an Oil company and he’s loaded!”
‘How long have you known him for?”
‘About a month! I haven’t met any one like him. He’s just all over me!”
I just had to know ‘Are you guys sleeping together?”
Femi was visibly shocked but we were quite close, so she took it in her stride, I guess.
‘Well, he wants to but I’m not so sure I should”.
Not so sure she should? Had she learnt anything from me at all?
‘What do you mean, ‘You don’t know if you should? I hollered.
Femi cringed. ‘I know I shouldn’t but he loves me so much and he’s given me so much’.
I calmed down fast. I could understand what was going on and getting upset wouldn’t do either of us any good.
‘Okay so this guy is in love with you. Great! Are you in love with him?”
She stared up at the ceiling for about twenty seconds ‘I think so”, she said quietly
‘Has he asked you to marry him?”
She rolled her eyes at me. ‘We only just met’
‘Yeah, but he wants to sleep with you!”
She shrugged ‘It’s like that’s natural!”
I couldn’t hold myself any more
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LOVE ? I THINK NOT!